Tell all the deacons in the diocese to show up at the cathedral, ordain them as priests and then send them off to do their duty. Those who don't like it? Too bad, that water went under the bridge when they chose to be deacons.
Next, how to get rid of those dreadful E.M.E.s
And after that, how to get rid of the alter girls.
The alter girls are cute with their little boppy ponytails and all, but they would be better served out in the vestibule helping the moms to take of the little ones.